"Thank you for your patience and kindness, and for not being a dick."Umm... no problem.
Biscuit Bitch, as you can tell from its name, serves biscuits with an empowering "we're not putting up with your crap" attitude. Recommended to me by my cohorts in IT Security, it serves, well, biscuits.
Walking in, I'm greeted by the thump of their stereo. "🎶Cause The Boys In The Hood Are Always Hard / You Come Talkin That Trash, We'll Pull Ya Card ...🎶" Eazy-E, 1987. Nice choice.
I glance over the menu board ("trailer park to table") and decide on the Bitchwich: a biscuit sandwich with an egg (over hard), cheddar cheese, and Spam (bacon or sausage are alternate choices). To drink I ordered a Seattle Fog: Earl Grey tea, steamed milk, vanilla, and orange zest. "Anything else, love?" Nope. The barista started on my drink as I paid.
And then I waited. The drink was ready in just a few minutes, but the sandwich took a while. I perused the Seattle Weekly as I waited, made it about a third of the way through, when my name was called. I had gotten a little concerned that they'd misplaced my order, as some of the other customers after me had their orders already, but one guy who was before me had just gotten his order, and was complaining: why'd it take so long? Why'd you serve others before me? Rant rant rant, not caring that the cook explained that Spam took longer to cook. The irate customer stormed out with his food.
The cook handed me mine. "Thank you for your patience and kindness, and for not being a dick," he said firmly. I grinned, mumbled a "no problem" which I hope conveyed "what a jerk that guy was," and went back to my table overlooking 3rd Avenue. The drink was pleasant, a citrusy floral creaminess that really, I should have expected. The heaviness of the Earl Grey tea was overpowered by the milk, which worked in the drink's favor.
"🎶Now my name is M.C.A., I've got a license to kill / I think you know what time it is, it's time to get ill.🎶" Beastie Boys circa 1986. Awesome.
The sandwich was pretty good as well. The biscuit was buttery and crumbly but the cheddar really prevented it from crumbling apart. The egg and spam were unremarkable, which is a good thing. I mean, how are you going to do something to the Spam that won't make it something completely different?
So yeah, the meal was pretty good, and at a decent price point. The attitude was somewhat inspiring. The music was loud and ... wait. Is that?
"🎶Kris Kross will make ya jump, jump.🎶" 1992.
Yes, I was entertained.
Biscuit Bitch
621 3rd Ave
Bitchwich and Seattle Fog, $10.03
December 9, to the early 80s strains of Stevie Wonder's "Superstition" and MJ's "Thriller," I had the Cheesy Pork n' Bitch, with a side of tea, Early Grey, hot. Served in a paper food tray boat, the biscuits were buried out of view by a couple of ladlefulls of gravy, a heavy sprinkle of shredded cheddar, and a mountain of crumbled bacon. Take that, arteries! Pretty good. Unexpectedly mildly spicy. Great service, as before. $12.66
ReplyDelete"🎶Slow down (slow down), sweet talkin' woman / You got me runnin', you got me searchin'.🎶" ELO, 1977.
ReplyDeleteMore Cheesy Pork n' Bitch. Super friendly crew. A Seattle Fog to drink (note to self: figure out how to build one of these in the Starbucks app). And to my right, a root cause analysis between a couple who had recently broken up (answer: career before relationship). Tipped the counter staff and got a larger drink this time, so $15.20.