Marcela's also closing Dec. 22

It's not only Bakeman's that's closing December 22; Marcela's Creole Cookery is closing that day, too, according to Eater. Their 10-year lease is up:


Better get your crawfish pie ASAP.

Salumi isn't Mario Batali's place

You may have read today that celebrity chef Mario Batali has been accused of sexual misconduct and has stepped away from his restaurant operations. What does that mean for Salumi? Not much, in my opinion. Salumi is owned by Mario's sister Gina and her husband, not by Mario. He's showed up for book signings, and his mother makes gnocci every Tuesday, but it's not one of his restaurants.

I'm on the fence about going there now, especially since Delicatus is almost as good without the wait. But if you think you can eat at Salumi with a clear conscience, I don't disagree.

Bakeman's closing December 22, after 47 years

Thank you to all our friends and customers for a wonderful 47 year run. Jason is retiring and Bakeman's is closing on December 22, 2017.

— Bakeman's Restaurant (@Bakemans) December 6, 2017

The Puget Sound Business Journal reports (paywall), and the tweet above confirms: Bakeman's is closing. I visited once in October 2016, and I described it's ambiance as "jury duty."

The PSBJ article says that it still had mostly original furniture and fixtures, and the "kitchen equipment is shot. ... Now that [Jason Wang] is leaving, it is time to clean it up. ... We're looking for someone to come in and put in a new restaurant."

Their cash-only policy was a show stopper for me. Some folks really liked it, though. Time marches on.

RPM Pizza is closed, Pizza Professionals is more expensive

[Edit, March 5, 2018: It's re-open!]

The best pizza in Pioneer Square is no more. Open for just a few days short of five months, RPM Pizza and Records (link dead on PC, live on mobile) has a sign in the window, "closed until further notice." The guy behind the counter is less optimistic: "We're closed forever." Their Instagram/Facebook post is equally pessimistic, calling out December 3 as their last day:

So, craving pizza, I wandered back to second best, Pizza Professionals. "Sorry, no more specials," said the woman behind the counter when I asked about the blank space on the chalkboard. A year ago, two slices and a Pepsi ran me $8.69. Today, right around $12. Yowch.

(Update: On February 6, I noticed a sign in the window saying that RPM was planning on rising from the dead, like Jimi Hendrix, sometime in February. Hopefully, it's more than just optimism. Good luck, pizza rockers.)

November 14: Kau Kau

It's a birthday lunch for two coworkers. A former coworker highly recommended Kau Kau, having been taking her family here for decades. Nine of us made the trek over to the International District expecting some good Chinese food.

On the bright side you can't beat the price. The surly waitress tossed a pile of menus on the center of the table, and each of us decided to get the $6.80 lunch special: soup (with two undocumented asterisks), BBQ pork, vegetable, and pork fried rice. Supposedly, they have the best BBQ. At least, that's what the awning out front says.

"Can I get miso soup with this?" asked one of us.

No.

"What kind of soup is it?" asked another.

Seaweed and tofu.

I ordered it with "soy sauce chicken." As the waitress took each of our orders, she took away plates from in front of each of us, leaving a fork, chopsticks, and napkin.

The soup came quickly. I gulped down a spoonful. "It smells worse than it tastes," I remarked. The seaweed was fortunately flavorless, although one of my coworkers, arriving late, joked that he spotted someone outside dredging it out of a puddle. I slurped most of mine down, including the one lonely cube of tofu.

Plates came out two at a time. We had a little confusion about who ordered what; the waitress was of little help. I dug into my rice first. Dark, earthy, I figure there must be some cremini mushrooms used in there.

For $7, maybe not.

I then dug into the sliced chunks of BBQ pork. It was cold, which I expected, but was it was also thick and tough, which I didn't. Normally cold BBQ pork is sliced thin and comes with mustard sides.

For $7, no.

Three co-workers debated catching the buzzing fly with chopsticks, Karate Kid style. One told a story of how his proudest day in seventh grade was when he swatted a bee out of the sky with a pencil, saving his entire class from certain doom. Cool story, bro.

The chicken reminded me of Thanksgiving turkey at my house, in that when I'm obligated to slice it, I end up inadvertently chopping it to bits, making the poor bird look like it jumped on a grenade requiring chunks of bird flesh to be retrieved from wherever they end up. That analogy would explain the small chunks of chicken bone I discovered while chewing.

For $7, yeah, that's what I get.

I returned to the rice. A few bites in, I pulled a hair or fuzz or something out of my mouth. It was gossamer enough that I couldn't see it, so I assume it came off of a sweater or shirt or other clothing. Could have been mine, I suppose.

Even for $7, that's not good.

A few minutes later, more chicken bone fragments. Another hair. I'm done.

For $7, it's way overpriced.

A few co-workers left shortly after lunch while four of us hung out afterward to deal with the bill. The waitress delivers it and runs. She reappears a few minutes later, clearing tables and paying us no mind. After several attempts, we wave her down. She rolls her eyes, stops to briefly wipe down another table, and grabs our credit card, appearing seconds later, having left the card up at the register for someone else to handle.

"So what did you think?" asks a co-worker. I mention the chicken bone and the hair. She gags.

The credit card comes back, we sign and retreat. On my way out, BeeSwatter pulls me aside. "Take a look at this."

1) In some cultures, crickets are eaten regularly, I think.
2) I hope that's a cricket hidden under his carrot.

On the walk back to the office, we agree: not very good. One co-worker stops by Bartells for a fifth of tequila to sterilize her mouth. Allegedly. Another stops at a coffee stand to burn out the taste. Allegedly.

I realize that maybe the earthy taste of the rice didn't come from mushrooms. I need to gargle some Purell. Like, $7 worth.


Kau Kau
656 S. King St.
$6.80 lunch special

November 8: Ferry Noodle House

Walking back from lunch a couple of weeks ago, I ran into an IT coworker and his team heading back to work. "Where'd you have lunch today?" he asked.

"Pick-Quick. I was kinda craving Thai food, but Thai Taste and their cafeteria trays didn't sound appetizing, and I couldn't think of anywhere else," forgetting about Thai Curry Simple, obviously.

"Oh. Have you eaten at Ferry Noodle House?" I had not. He sang their praises as we entered the building and flashed our badges. I then promptly forgot his suggestion.

I ran into him again a few days ago, and he refreshed my memory. It's on the pedestrian walkway to the ferry terminal, thus the name. It's cheap, he assured me, and crowded, but really good.

That's today's lunch. It was cheap, and crowded, and good.

It took about five minutes to get a seat, and I felt a little guilty taking a two-person table for just one person, but whatcha gonna do? I couldn't decide between the cashew chicken or the pad Thai, and then I saw combo number 1, which was both. I'd planned to order it 2-star spiciness with a cup of hot tea to chase away a headache I'm fighting, but when it came time to order, "What would you like?" "Combo 1" "Cashew chicken?" "Yes." "KTHXBYE." A few seconds later, I realized I hadn't ordered tea or specified spiciness. Too late; he was gone.

Moments later, it arrived. At first glance, the portions looked a little small, I dug in and finished it all off in a short time. Now, an hour later, it's sitting pretty heavy. I'm glad there wasn't more.

The pad Thai noodles were cut unusually short, which I liked, because it meant I didn't splatter sauce on myself trying to wind it or slurp it or cut it off. The cashew chicken was light on chicken, heavy on cabbage, with one sprig of broccoli. I thought at first they went light on cashews, but there were several buried in there.

It was good, perhaps not quite as good as Thai Curry Simple, but a nicer decor and slightly elevated service. Way better than Thai Taste.

(Very minor peeve: the receipt's suggested tip line based the tips on the full total, including tax. Slightly deceptive to those who are bad at math.)

Ferry Noodle House
93 Marion St
Pad Thai, cashew chicken, tap water, $13.01

November 1: KFC/Taco Bell

My free Uber trips to SoDo continue. I wanted crunchy tacos. I've found nowhere nearby to get them. Time for a border run! A jointly operated KFC/Taco Bell are in my sights. My Uber driver, who has plaster the seat backs with ads for his personal counseling and errand running services, laughs when he realizes where I'm going. Don't judge me, dude.

Once I'm there, though, the bright shining visage of the Venerable and Inscrutable Colonel entreats me to order the chicken. They've got a popcorn chicken meal, and my taco crunch craving could be satisfied by a side of chips. OK. Deal done. The truly friendly cashier takes my order and asks my name. To the Colonel, I'm a person, not a number. Sure.

Based on some of the other grungy joints I've seen in SoDo, I didn't have high hopes for this place, but it's clearly had a very recent remodel. One round table's artificial woodgrain positively glows in the light cast by the oversized chicken bucket lamp fixture above. If a group of 10-year-olds were to play "Let's pretend we're the Yum Brands board of directors", this is the table they'd pick.

Fountain drinks are self-serve, much to the delight of a couple of hobos who gently ask the staff for water glasses. Lids are right there. Straws, irrationally, are at a condiment bar several feet away. "Travis?" My order's up.

Dang. I meant to order mashed potatoes, but these wedges will do. The popcorn chicken is a little mushy. Maybe it's supposed to be made with 11 herbs and spices, maybe it just follows them, but it's far from the best KFC I've had. I think there's an herb out of place. The wedges are OK.

The three-layer nachos... well, what do you expect? It's chips in a tray. Yellow cheese (that's the flavor. Yellow. Don't skimp on it.) Reddish brown taco sauce. Grey bean paste. Tastier than it sounds.

I'd do this again. Eventually. If I get free Uber rides again. And if enough folks dare to try it with me, we can play Li'l Directors.

KFC/Taco Bell
2201 4th Ave. S.
Popcorn Chicken Combo, Three-layer nachos, $9.12

"The House of the Venerable and Inscrutable Colonel was what they called it when they were speaking Chinese. Venerable because of his goatee, white as the dogwood blossom, a badge of unimpeachable credibility in Confucian eyes. Inscrutable because he had gone to his grave without divulging the Secret of the Eleven Herbs and Spices."

-- Neal Stephenson, The Diamond Age: or, A Young Lady's Illustrated Primer

October 27: Manu's Bodega

Sigh

Sitting at my desk around noon today, I'm considering where to go for lunch. As the 89 other posts on this site attest to, there's a lot of choices, but nothing sounds appetizing. Dinner last night was Italian, we're likely to order pizza and watch Stranger Things tonight, I think I'm still digesting the Pick-Quick burger from earlier this week, and walking to Pike Place for fish and chips doesn't seem worth it. Maybe a sandwich from Tat's? No, just not that hungry. And really, just not that motivated.

From out of nowhere, I get an empanada craving. I think I've only ever had empanadas twice before: once was two years ago, a bake-it-yourself version I bought from Pampeana at a farmers market, surprisingly now showing up on several lists of best local empanadas. Before that, my first empanada was in Ellensburg, at the now-closed "Earthquake Empanadas", to eat with a fresh hefeweizen at the Iron Horse Pub next door. What I'm saying, I guess, is that I don't know what makes a good empanada, but I'm willing to find out. If you know empanadas, sorry for my ignorance.

The general consensus of the best empanadas near Pioneer Square is Manu's Bodega, a Dominican-focused place run by the same Manu Alfau who runs the Manu's Tacos window inside/next to Flatstick Pub. His Bodega is uphill a short walk, a block past the homeless folks gathered across from the Smith Tower. It's slightly below grade, in a wedge-shaped space in a wedge-shaped building on a wedge-shaped block. I placed my order at the counter and took the last of the five indoor tables. Several more tables on the patio were occupied.

I ordered the empanada plate, a tiny bit disappointed that a pork version wasn't available. Instead, for my two empanadas, I chose a beef one and a yam/gouda one. It arrived quickly, and my first impression frightened me: it was pretty, but the plate was ice cold. I dug into the rice and beans, and my fears dissipated.

The rice was hot, the pinto beans were warm. The menu says they use jasmine rice, and they've done it in a way where it's neither too dry nor too sticky. Well done. The pinto beans were OK, really not too notable. Good filler.

The empanadas looked identical, perfect half moons with crimped edges so I bit into the first one, not knowing which was which. It was the beef. I probably scarfed it down too quickly to notice, but the menu says it also contained olives, raisins, and hard boiled egg. I noticed something yellow, but by the time I thought to figure it out, I'd eaten it. Onto the yam!

I liked and savored that one much more. It was more flavorful, had a more pleasing texture, and just tasted better. Your mileage may vary.

I left the slaw and most of the chimichurri sauce; just not my thing. On the walk back to the office, a disabled woman next to me at the 2nd & Yesler crosswalk pointed and screamed profanities at demons only she could see and that I couldn't even imagine

Sigh.

Manu's Bodega
100 Prefontaine Place
Empanada plate, Coke, $15.69

October 24: Pick-Quick Drive In

Sorry, no photos today. I thought I'd already reviewed it when I ate at the Pick-Quick last spring, and there's not a lot to say. I'm two weeks in to my four-week Uber pass (free Pool rides to and from Sodo), so figured I'd grab a quick bite here. It's across the street from the quirky, expectation-exceeding Oriental Express.

I'd eaten at the Fife location several times when our office was in Federal Way, and it's a good, cheap, midrange quality burger. Today I had the single cheeseburger with bacon. No complaints. In-n-Out quality, but the bun was a bit fluffier than I'd come to expect. A greasy burger should have a thin cheap bun, but not this time. It looked photogenic, a perfect, rounded, glistening bun, but I ate it instead of taking a selfie with it. The bacon was chewy, not crisp, which is a small strike against it, but it's bacon, so how bad could it be?

Fries were the standard drive-in peel on shoestrings, floppy and a little oily, but good nonetheless. The milkshakes, though -- that's why I come here. The guy behind the counter handed me my blackberry shake and commented, "this is a good one, my favorite. This one's extra good." It was.

There's no seating (it's a DRIVE in, right?) so I leaned up against a post while I ate. In wet weather, that'd be a deal breaker, but on a crisp fall day, not so bad.

Pick-Quick Drive In
2990 4th Ave. S.
Single cheeseburger with bacon, fries, medium shake, $12.12

October 10: Paseo SoDo

I don't know how to eat a sandwich.

Yesterday, I ate at Delicatus again. The "Chief Stealth Bomber" is a French dip variant. Most of the contents of the sandwich ended up on my plate, and I had to tackle it with a fork.

Today, Paseo Sodo was my destination of choice. I ordered the Caribbean Roast, a variant on a pulled-pork Cuban sandwich. Tasty as heck, but again, my tools for consumption included a fork and about a dozen napkins. Before I even took the first bite, as I squeezed it together to fit in my mouth, the baguette came apart in the back, dumping pork, jalapenos, and onion onto my plate.

I'd briefly mentioned Paseo in my May 23 report. I'd considered having lunch there, but the walk was too far and the cost of an Uber or ReachNow car was too high. However, I received an e-mail offer from Uber this morning: for $15, get 4 weeks of $0 UberPool rides on a pre-selected route in Seattle, and 20% off rides elsewhere. I'll almost definitely come out ahead just with the 20% off, so I picked work and a fast food place in SoDo as my designated route endpoints.

The fine print says the endpoints have to be "near" where I designated, but there's a several-block area to choose from. Expect a Taco Bell report within the next month :-)

Back to the sandwich: I ordered at the register, and sat at the counter. It felt like a slightly-remodeled Denny's, but Google Street View shows that as far back as six years ago, it was a BBQ diner. Tom Petty's "Runnin' Down a Dream" was playing (*sniff*), as well as the local news on the TVs, muted.

"Number 63!" That was quick. I unwrapped the sloppy wet sandwich, and picked a few quickly-dissolving pieces of paper out of it. The first bite plopped onto the plate.

Eater.com's reviews, which I didn't read before writing this, describe it as either "the drippy mess" or "greasy fucking slippery teflon sandwiches that squirt out the back of the bread when you bite into them ... the biggest overrated scam in all of sandwichdom." That's a bit harsh, but yeah, it's messy.

The jalapenos were mild, and unlike the Delicatus sandwich of yesterday, they use lettuce and aioli to prevent the bread from completely turning into mush. The pork was a flavorful grease bomb. I'd eat it again, but as I said above, went through almost a dozen napkins to cleanly finish the meal. If I go again, I should invest in a napkin company first. Know any local pulp manufacturers?

Paseo SoDo
1760 1st Ave S
Caribbean Roast sandwich, diet Coke, $12.94

October 6: Dough Zone

A little more than a year ago, one of the biggest reasons I looked forward to the company move to Pioneer Square was the proximity of the International District. Specifically, naïve me expected to have Din Tai Fung level food just a few blocks away.

Then I had my first meal at Ping's Dumpling House, and was disappointed.

Fortunately, I discovered other great places in the I.D., like Tofully, Thai Curry Simple, and Samurai Noodle. Another Din Tai Fung location opened in Pacific Place in early March, so I've eaten there a few times, too.

Then in November, Eater Seattle ran this story, announcing that Dough Zone would was several months away from opening its fifth location. Their report included the preposterous line, "many consider [it] superior to international competitor Din Tai Fung." Pshaw.

Page 1 (page 2 not shown)

I stopped by last week. They hadn't opened yet, but were polishing the floors and fixtures. It opened Monday.

The dining room is airy, with artsy dangling red and grey (felt?) disks suspended from the ceiling, twisting in the breeze. As a solo diner, I was seated immediately at "the bar", a long table in the middle of the room. The restaurant appeared full, but I also didn't see anyone waiting.

Despite the warning on the door, "Dough Zone soft opening, limited items available", service was prompt. I ordered a basket of the pork xiao long bao and oolong tea. It took just a few moments for the Thermos carafe of tea to arrive, and about 12 minutes for the dumplings.

Superior to Din Tai Fung? Not quite, but pretty dang close. I withdraw my pshaw.

The dumplings felt a little thinner, a little emptier, and with just a little less substance. Still, they were delicious and mouth-scalding, and in a blind taste test, I probably couldn't tell the difference.

To my left, a group discussing harassment and whether "no" means no unless it's said three times (spoiler: once is plenty) had some tasty looking green onion pancakes and what I think was sweet and sour cucumber. To my right, a guy planning a trip to China via L.A. (yes, avoid LAX as best you can) and his friend were enjoying pot stickers, broccoli with oyster sauce, and spicy beef shank. It all looked great.

The ability to get a seat instantly for DTF-quality dumplings is huge. The only downside was that it's really designed for groups to share, not a solo diner. $4.50 for a thermos of tea is expensive for one person, but reasonable for two or three. I'd have liked to have more than the long bao, but at $11.50 for a basket of ten, it didn't make sense to get two other similarly-priced entrees. And the long bao was so good, I couldn't bring myself to eat there again without getting it.

You should eat there with me next time.

Dough Zone
504 5th Ave S
Pork xiao long bao, oolong tea, $20.46

September 7: Cheese Meats Bread

You know by now how much I like a good grilled cheese sandwich, so I was excited in July when I learned a hipster grilled cheese themed joint was opening at Uwajimaya. Turns out, Cheese Meats Bread opened while I was swamped on a project. Let's see what they've got.

The line was short, and service was fast. I ordered a side of tots and The Mac, which is billed as a sandwich made with "sharp cheddar, pimento mac & cheese, hills bacon, brioche roll". Mmm. Bacon. Mmm. Mac and cheese.

Spaghetti tacos were briefly a thing in the early '00s, right? (Ask that millennial sitting next to you). So why not a mac and cheese sandwich?

Then it arrived, and I looked at it. They say when you look into the abyss, it looks back at you. This sandwich stared into my soul. It dared me to try it. Its cheese-filled tubes of pasta gaped back at me. I picked it up and tried it.

So why not a mac and cheese sandwich? Maybe because it's too good, and you'll want another one every lunch for the next week. My only regret is that I haven't had one sooner. It was so. good. Miraculously, the bread was darkly toasted but barely greasy. The pasta was firm but not dry. The bacon was small enough to not interfere with the macaroni's texture, yet added flavor and a bit of substance. Somehow, it still had the stringy cheesy character of a classic grilled cheese, but with the bonus of noodles.

The tots, served in a Chinese food to-go box, were too hot to eat at first. Down side: there's too many of them. The side salad was unremarkable; the sandwich was the clear star of the show here.

I left half the salad and tots behind, but ate every last bit of the sandwich. Did I say it was good? So. good. Get me another one, stat.

Cheese Meats Bread
605 5th Ave S (in Uwajimaya)
The Mac, tots, side salad, Jones root beer, $15.96 

September 5: Kigo Kitchen

I'd spotted the "coming soon" signs of Kigo Kitchen back in June, but forgot about it until our building security guru, who has his finger on the pulse of local openings, handed me a copy of their menu. I'd just returned from a long vacation, and, swamped by work, put off my visit a few more days.

Located next door to Delicatus, Kigo specializes in wok-fired stir fry bowls. All I know about stir fry is that I always eat too much when I visit Chang's Mongolian Grill, so I wasn't sure what to expect.

At first, Kigo's menu appears fairly limited, but the customizations make it extensive. I opted for the Golden Rice Bowl, uncustomized, which includes peanut hoisin sauce, chicken, carrot, spinach, and brown rice, and a fountain drink from Seattle Soda.

Ordering is much like Subway or Taco Del Mar: order at one end of the counter, pay at the other. By the time I'd filled my drink, my name was being called to get my bowl. My first impression: disappointment. There's not a lot of food here. Presentation is "here's a small glop of food in a paper cup."

First impressions can be wrong.

I tucked in at the table overlooking a very smokey, ashy First Avenue, and poked at my bowl. Half rice, half stir fry, it had cooled just enough to eat. The flavor was mild, not overwhelmingly salty or spicy like Chang sometimes shovels my way. The shredded carrots were a little bit crunchy -- or was that the rice? It's hard to tell with it all mixed together.  I ate it quickly, but it was nearly more than I could consume. There's a lot of food in that little space.

Looking for a quick lunch? Kigo isn't a bad choice.

Kigo Kitchen
Golden rice bowl, diet cola, $12.99
105 1st Ave. S.

Opening soon

There's a bunch of new lunch spots opening around here. Here's a quick roundup of places soon to be on my to-do list:

The Halal Guys: I'd mentioned their new spot on Yesler last month, but Eater.com reports that they're expecting to open on August 11. Expect Il Corvo-length lines at their first northwest location, warns Eater. The long-time gyro slingers at Main Street Gyros may have a tough time with this competition. 101 Yesler Way.

I Heart Sushi: Just this side of Halal Guys, signs are up for I Heart Sushi. It looks to be a counter-service place, nothing like I Love Sushi at South Lake Union. There's not much out there about this place. I smell confusion. 111 Yesler Way

Cheese Meats Bread: Remember how I went looking for a good grilled cheese sandwich at Beechers, was disappointed, and then found a splendid one at the Great Northwest Soup Company? A new challenger approaches. SeattleMet.com reports that Cheese Meats Bread features unusually hipster ingredients for grilled cheese: think pork belly, sriracha tuna, and onion marmalade. No, not on the same sandwich. That'd be nasty. It opened at Uwajimaya last Friday. 604 5th Ave. S.

Great State Burger: A block away, Great State Burger has opened in The Publix building. It's owned by the same folks who own Quality Athletics, but I won't hold that against them. They've got two other locations, with a third in Safeco Field and a fourth on its way to 3rd & Spring, so they must be doing something right. Their web site evokes the feeling of a classic burgers-and-fries joint. Alert the Fonz. 504 5th Ave. S.

From Dough Zone's Facebook Page

Dough Zone: With a sandwich shop and a burger joint coming to the International District, internet chatter is of neighborhood gentrification. I won't take sides in this battle, but will say I'm looking forward to Dough Zone arriving next to Great State Burger later this year. SeattleMet.com raves about the dumplings at its other four locations (Bellevue, Bellevue, Renton, and Issaquah). Eater.com makes the bold, unsourced claim that the dumplings here are better than Michelin star-winning Din Tai Fung. I'll believe it when I eat it. 510 5th Ave. S.

RPM Pizza and Records: It opened two weeks ago (see my review from last week). It was so good, I ate there again today. In a rush at 12:30 to get to a 1:00 meeting, I tried to grab a slice of pepperoni to go. No can do, bro. Pepperoni wouldn't be ready for a few more minutes. I grabbed a veggie slice instead. The crust was a little tougher than last time, but that's not enough to knock it off of the throne of best pizza near Pioneer Square. And it's veggie, so you know it's good for you. 240 2nd Ave. S.

July 12: RPM Pizza and Records

[Edit, March 5, 2018: It's re-open!]

[Closed - December 3, 2017]

This place snuck in under my radar, but I spotted a story from SeattleMet.com earlier this week: RPM Pizza opened on July 6. "Short for Revolution Pizza Music, [Harvey Ward] Van Allen—part of the crew behind other Pioneer Square outposts Altstadt and Casco Antiguo—is bringing exactly that: 'The concept is pizza and records first and foremost...and beer and wine.'"

I've said in the past that tough to decide on the best nearby pizza: Pizza Professionals and Post Alley Pizza are both very good. But it's not a tough decision anymore. RPM Pizza has them beat.

It's located in the former Il Corvo Pasta Studio space, between Good Bar and Flatstick Pub, so close I could probably lean out of my office window and catch a whiff of the dough. Upon entering, there's a sign indicating that you can either order at the counter or grab a seat for table service. I parked myself at a table, looked over the menu, and went simple: a slice of pepperoni and a cola. While I was waiting, I watched the cook deftly spin a pizza crust, I glanced at the shelf of vinyl records for sale, and, multiple times, I mistook the waitstaff who were punching orders into the system as DJs preparing to drop sick beats. The music is loud, but not offensively so.

The "slice" arrived, and it was easy to see why the price is slightly higher than Pizza Pros and Post Alley: it's a quarter pizza. And it's practically perfect. RPM uses smaller pepperoni which curls up when cooked, making each little disk into a tiny boat holding a tidepool of grease. The proper way to deal with the grease is to sprinkle grated parm into each pepperoni-pool, soaking it up and adding to the perfection. Done.

The crust that was previously spinning behind the counter comes out of the oven crispy and thin, not like a floppy New York slice nor a noodle-less Chicago lasagna slice. As I devoured it, at no time did the cheese slide off, threatening my chin or shirt and leaving a cheese-less bite on the slice. I don't know how to ensure proper cheese adhesion, especially when the layer of sauce felt a little thicker than I expected, but RPM did it magically well.

Sodas come from Boylan Soda (New York), and at $4, are more expensive than the $3 PBRs. So hipster. Service was quick and attentive. It seemed busy and a little on the crowded side. And as more people find out about it, there could be quite a wait for a seat and a slice.

Best pizza in Seattle? I don't know. Best pizza in Pioneer Square? Absolutely yes.

RPM Pizza and Records
240 2nd Ave. S.
Pepperoni slice, Boylan cola, $12.46

July 7: Slim's Last Chance Chili Shack and Watering Hole

It's the first Friday in a while where Ryan (the master of the Weyer's lunch map) and I have both been in the office, so we took a trip down the road to Georgetown Brewing, where we each picked up a growler for the weekend. For lunch, we headed a few blocks west to Slim's Last Chance Chili Shack and Watering Hole. Ryan had been there before with another co-worker; this was my first visit.

On-street parking was plentiful. If I had to get there without a ride, I'd probably end up using Uber ($10 each way before discount) or Car2Go ($16/hour). No buses run along 1st Avenue down there, so public transit would require riding through some of the more sketchy areas along 4th and hoofing it over a few blocks.

We grabbed a table inside; the picnic tables on the lawn outside were nearly full. The owners of the three motorcycles parked out front were in place at the bar; a few other groups were scattered around the place. Pretty good crowd, really, but not crowded. The record player needle didn't scratch to a halt when we entered, so that's a good sign.

The tattooed waitress took our drink orders quickly, while I skimmed through the menu. I decided on the Texas Red chili over jalapeno mac 'n cheese, with a side of cornbread. Ryan decided on a "Kobe" beef hot dog. Those scare quotes are mine, not Slim's, as it's really a mis-advertised American-style Kobe beef. It'd be a shame to cook true Kobe beef into a hot dog.

We chatted a bit about how this place would be ruined if hipsters discovered it, well aware of the irony that we'd be the hipsters, if only we were 20 years younger, tolerated PBR, and had a hankering for facial hair. Judging from some of the photos on Slim's web site, maybe it's already turned and we're just the lunch crowd.

The food arrived quickly and I dug in. My first impression of my first bite was "this chili is pure, standard, regular ol' chili." Not overpowering, nothing fancy, nothing remarkable, nothing offensive. Later bites elevated my opinion slightly: it's much better than you'd get out of a can. If there's a Platonic ideal of chili, this is pretty close. Ground beef, spices, tomato base, and that's about it, perfectly executed. The small bit of jalapeno mac 'n cheese was buried underneath, hard to actually find in the mix. The cheddar cheese on top was stringy and gooey, messing up my chin more than a few times. Cornbread was served with a honey butter; the mini-loaf wasn't a crumbly as I expected, but good nonetheless.

Ryan said his hot dog was a definite fork-and-knife job, despite the sideways looks he might have received from tough-guy bikers for using silverware on a hot dog. It was so good, he said, "maybe I should have ordered two."

Service was perfect, with drink refills arriving before I realized I needed one, and plates being cleared as soon as we were done. The sound of a Harley pulling away made me realize that I needed to get back to work, too.

Slim's Last Chance
5606 1st Ave. S.
Texas Red chili, jalapeno mac 'n cheese, cornbread, Coke, around $19

June 30: Easy Joe's American Pub [CLOSED]

[CLOSED LATE JULY 2018]

For some reason, I thought Easy Joe's* just opened, but I'm seeing mentions of it online from five years ago, and of its location on Capitol Hill from before that. Maybe it's the construction of Cherry Street Coffee's new digs next door that's made me overlook it.

On this sunny Seattle Friday before a four-day weekend, the place had maybe a dozen people in it. Some were obviously regulars; one of them switched bar seats back to "her spot" after another patron finished up. Service was friendly, happy, and helpful -- I might even say "perky" -- fast with beer suggestions, a menu, the wifi password, and refills. Despite the brickwork and dark woods, the pub wasn't nearly as dimly lit as I expected. The large windows facing First Avenue let in a lot of bright sunlight, and the early 90s pop (Red Hot Chili Peppers "Hey Oh") made it feel a bit brighter. And then "The Piña Colada Song" came on to add a little WTF flavor to my lunch.

The menu gave me some tough choices. I've been thinking about a big plate of nachos for a few weeks now, but don't really want to eat a whole pile by myself. I'm glad I found somewhere that has it, though. I considered the bacon cheeseburger, but I'm trying to cut back a bit more on my beef consumption. I almost settled on the BBQ pulled pork sandwich, readying myself for disappointment thinking it wouldn't live up to Hole in the Wall's flavor. I wanted something lighter, though, and prepared to order the chicken taco salad. At the last second, though, I turned the menu over, saw BBQ pork tacos, and knew that's what I'd be having.

The tacos arrived quickly, as described: a side of tortilla chips, and two flour tortillas with coleslaw, pico de gallo, and chili lime sour cream (not red, hot, nor very chili pepper-y). The bartender delivered it with a fork and stack of napkins, because she knew better. I messily dug in. Although I did my best, the first bite on one end of the taco sent a creamy blob of pico and pork glopping onto my plate and fingers. Yay, napkins!

It tasted wonderful. The BBQ pork was warm, the slaw was cold, and the sauce was mild. Together they blended into a perfect bite of contrasting temperatures and of sweet, spicy, and mildly bitter flavors. Before I knew it, the first taco was gone and I was about to start on the second. Several tasty globs of sauce/pork/pico were in my way on the plate, so I happily scooped them up with a couple of chips. Mmmm.

The tacos and nachos also appear on their 4 PM happy hour menu. I'm inclined to suggest to my co-workers that we stop by for future after-work socializing.

So good. Next time, maybe the chicken taco salad.

Easy Joe's American Pub
704 1st Ave.
BBQ pork tacos, diet Coke, $17.20

* Yes, I know that link points to an old page on archive.org. EasyJoes.com seems to have been pointing to their web hosting provider's placeholder page for several months now.

 

Nibbles: Kigo and Halal expand; Radici gets busted; trucks get halved

Kigo's not-yet-open 105 First Ave S. location

Kigo Asian Kitchen looks to be expanding their three Seattle locations to a fourth, on First Avenue, between Delicatus and Taco Del Mar. There's no indication as to how soon "coming soon" is, but I'm looking forward to trying their stir-fry bowls.

The Halal Guys seem to have quite a following for their chain of gyro joints, so I expect lines once their first-in-the-Northwest location opens up next to Merchants Café (101 Yesler Way). Eater.com said "this spring", but I walked past it this afternoon, and they've got a ways to go. Someday, a restaurateur will go conservative on their projected opening date and surprise me.

(Late edit: The Seattle Times is reporting that 13 Coins hopes to open its Pioneer Square location in late fall, moving out of their south Lake Union site at the same time. Their lease up north ends December 1, so maybe they'll be one to surprise me. The "coming 2017" sign has been up at 2nd and King Street for several months now.)

We're down from four food trucks to two in Occidental Park, and it looks like that's the way it'll be for a while. No idea why. Maybe other spots around town are doing better during tourist season? I think Westlake's food truck scene has expanded to five trucks, but I'm not certain of that.

And more to blame the tourists on: Three times in the last few weeks, I've tried to go to Jack's Fish Spot at Pike Place Market. All three times the line has been out to the street and I've given up. <sad emoji goes here> I ended up one day at Los Agaves, but was disappointed with their nachos. Cold refried beans? Really?

Tsk, tsk, Radici

Meanwhile, back in Pioneer Square, Radici looks like they've gotten their wrist slapped by the Liquor Control Board. In their window this morning was this notice of liquor license suspension (at right), for "sale or service of alcohol to  minor", which looks like it has been in effect since Friday. Their suspension ended today, according to the sign.

Still good, with nothing new to report: Taco Del Mar, Pizza Professionals. And Einstein Brothers Bagels (600 4th Avenue -- city hall) was fast and non-notable. I'm saving my review for a return trip when I'm not rushing between meetings and can do more than quickly toss it down my gullet.

For months, I've been craving a good quality piece of Key lime pie, or a Key lime tart, or something similar. I've had no luck. Any ideas, readers? London Plane, Café Umbria, Grand Central Bakery, and the Starbucks pastry rack all struck out.

June 19: Manu's Tacos

Actually, I've been to Manu's Tacos twice before, but just never blogged it. There's not much to say about this little window next to Flatstick Pub, other than the street tacos are $3, and are available after hours downstairs at Flatstick.

I've had the chicken tacos all three times, which are small yet satisfying, and come with onion, black beans, cilantro, green sauce, a wedge of lime, and messy fingers. Good stuff, quick, close, and tasty. Grab extra napkins.

Manu's Tacos
Three chicken tacos, $9.90
210 S. Main St.

Food safety: Spotted an "OK" in the wild

On the way to Tat's today, I noticed the new food safety rating sign in the window of Nirmal's. If you haven't yet noticed these signs everywhere, it's because the Seattle/King County health department just started rolling out the new signage system in January.

Restaurants get rated Excellent, Good, Okay, or Needs to Improve. I've only seen Excellents and Goods before today, which according to the health department accounts for 90% of the restaurants. But today, I encountered one of the 10%:

The health department says "Okay" means "the restaurant has had MANY red critical violations over the last four inspections." In Nirmal's case, it was handwashing issues and food storage temperatures that earned them the "Okay". During Nirmal's routine inspections, it received a score of 80 at its May 8 , preceded by a clean scores January 27 and last year on September 14, but received a 75 last July. A subsequent inspection on May 22 shows they remedied their defects, getting a clean score again.

Meh. It's probably Okay to eat there.

May 26: Delicatus

Earlier this week, a co-worker came back from Delicatus complaining about their Reuben. It just wasn't very good. Another co-worker chimed in agreeing: avoid the Reuben.

Nevertheless, it's been on my list of places to eat ever since I started this project, After failing to get lunch at Jack's Fish Spot (encountering tourist crowds like I'd never seen there before -- it is the Friday before Memorial Day), I wandered back down to Pioneer Square. Sure, I'll take my chances.

The first choice: table service downstairs, or get it to go upstairs? I can bus my own table, and getting a seat overlooking this gorgeous space sounds appealing.

The next choice: something from their extensive menu. Even though it was a warm sunny Seattle day, I like warm sandwiches. I love how their menu is humorously northwest focused (Ballard Lox, The Duwamish, The Ciscoe). I settled on the Mudd Honey, described as "roast beef, smoked turkey, bacon, white cheddar, horseradish aioli, house BBQ toasted on an Italian roll." I added potato salad and iced tea.

It took longer to order than it did to get my food; I grabbed the bag and headed upstairs. The potato salad came in a plastic tub with a lid, which means it was probably scooped out that morning or the night before. Unwrapping the foil from the sandwich revealed that the white cheddar had once melted but quickly re-congealed. Did they really just make this?

The Mudd Honey was dripping with BBQ sauce, which made it messy and -- I'm not complaining -- completely covered up any of the horseradish taste. Unfortunately, it also covered up the porcine smokiness of the bacon and any of the subtleties of the beef and turkey. In retrospect, without looking at the menu description, I could have pointed out the BBQ, the turkey, the roll, and remember seeing a few bacon chunks fall out onto the foil, but don't remember the beef at all. It wasn't a bad sandwich, and I did like the BBQ sauce, but a little warmer and a little less sauce would have made it a little better.

The potato salad, on the other hand, was not good. It tasted to me like bland, cold mashed potatoes. No chunks of potato, no perceptible chives, celery, peppers, cucumber, pickles, or other greenery. Worse, no tanginess of vinegar or mayo. I had three bites and gave up. Cold mashed potatoes aren't my thing.

I've read a few reviews of Delicatus, and it really seems hit-or-miss depending on the food item. Avoid the Reuben. Avoid the potato salad. The Mudd Honey is good enough. The Chief Stealth (not Sealth?) and Fire of 1889 sandwiches get promising coverage. I'll try one of those next.

Delicatus
103 1st Ave S.
Mudd Honey, potato salad, iced tea, $15.69

Mapping Weyer's Lunch

Thanks to co-worker Ryan Wasell, we've got a map of locations visited in Weyer's Lunch. You can find the direct link in the sidebar. I think it makes navigation so much easier. Give it a try.

May 23: Aloha Plates

"OK, Google. Find Wendy's near me."

Ballard. Tukwila. Too far to go, even with ReachNow's $5 one hour special today.

"OK, Google. Search best cheap lunch in Seattle."

Eater.com has a list. Number six is Paseo in Fremont, but they write, "There's even a second location now in Sodo." A Cuban-style sandwich sounds good. Salty pork sounds really good. But a look at their menu reveals they're not quite what I was looking for. At around $11 per sandwich, the $5 drive will make it a pricey lunch. Above that, I'm now remembering my parking rage from using ReachNow yesterday. What else comes up in the search results?

Well, there's this article from The Stranger. The very first recommendation is for a Hawaiian/fried chicken place on Capitol Hill. Hey, there's an idea: Spam. Rice and Spam would hit the spot. Salty pork. Mmmm.

"OK, Google. Find Hawaiian food near me."

Bam. Top hit: Aloha Plates. Just inside the International District area, it's an eight-minute walk. It's sunny. It's cheap. Time for lunch. I check out StreetView, see the entrance and storefront, and head out.

Don't use the entrance. Don't go in the storefront. Turns out that even though it's got a glass door with the name of the place and the hours on it, it's the entrance to the back of the kitchen. "UberEATS?" asks the cook when he sees me. No, I'm not picking up to deliver someones food. He helpfully points me to the door on the other corner of the kitchen, which leads me into the bustling Uwajimaya food court.

The cashier is ringing up customers at a feverish pace, and it's quickly my turn. I order the Freestyle Combo with teriyaki chicken, brown rice, macaroni salad, and Spam. About five minutes later, I spot an open table and grab a seat. Three minutes after that, my order's up. I pop open the clamshell tray and dig in.

What can I say about Spam? They fried the two slices up well, with light browning around the edges. The teriyaki chicken was mildly sweet, but a little stringy. The brown rice was puffy and filling -- I couldn't finish all of it. The macaroni salad was unremarkable. Overall, pretty decent, like I'd get from L&L Hawaiian BBQ. Authentic? No idea.

I'd never been in Uwajimaya before, and spotted at least five other places in the food court worth a try. That's more spots to put on my to do list, I guess.

Aloha Plates
503 S. Weller (in the Uwajimaya food court)
Spam, teriyaki chicken, rice, macaroni salad, Diet Pepsi, $11.43